Single...So What?


I haven’t had a date in 2 years and 2 months and to be totally honest, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I keep waiting for that moment when I feel alone or I want kids, or watch a romantic movie and doth declare that I shall be wed by the morrow, but it hasn’t happened.  After my last uneventful relationship I decided that if I couldn’t date someone because I wanted to be with them, then I wasn’t going to date anyone. That means I don’t date because I’m bored, lonely, pressured, need attention, think he’s hot but that’s it, he asked nicely, or he came highly recommended, I’m just not going to do it.

I came to this conclusion after many WTF moments, especially with online dating. Ohhh the horror (and hilarious) stories I have heard about online dating. It’s like the bar scene, club scene, self-proclaimed church folk, crazies, and wanna be rappers all get together and blow up your inbox or send winks. The only real advantage to online dating is that you don't have to leave the house, and with a click of a mouse, they can go bye-bye. No joke, I met one guy that not only didn’t look like his picture, but he was shorter than me, and I'm 5'2. He actually had the nerve to try to be LL Cool J and lick his lips like something was going to happen that night. I pretended to yawn and said I was suddenly tired and left. Not a graceful exit, but a quick one.

So where do you meet guys if not online? I have done speed dating, dined in restaurants alone, gone out alone, the grocery store, fitness studios, coffee shops, and still nothing. The best thing I ever did was stop and ask myself why do you want to date, and when I didn’t have a good answer I decided to stop trying. I think sometimes we get so caught up in the pursuit that we forget what’s on the other side of that dinner at 8pm. The truth is if you talk to any married, divorced, or engaged women, relationships are no cakewalk, and that’s if you even get that far. We all just have to play the hand we’re dealt and do the best we can. Nothing comes without effort, and no person will make you happy if your happiness is conditional and dependent on others. When I gave up trying to create love out of thin air I found that I had more time to not only love but 'LIKE' myself. I don't think I could have said that 2 years ago. I am single and fabulous and deserve a great life, and last I checked I can buy my own flowers, take myself out, and love, love , love the hell out of my life! No man required. I haven’t given up on finding love, but I have given up on desperately frantically looking. Lord knows we make our biggest mistakes when we get desperate and frustrated. That’s when Mr. Right Now shows up, and no woman deserve that guy.